Everything Is Falling Apart

     I don't think I can do this.
 Everything is just falling apart. Crumbling through my fingers like fragile clumps of dirt. I can only hold on for so long before it all goes away.
 What am I going to do?

   My best friend thinks I don't like her anymore because I've been talking to some other friends. My [favorite] laptop is starting to get old and being very slow. NaNo is coming up and I feel so behind. And, suddenly, I have this strong, irrisistable urge to get straight As in High School.
 Then there is my family, which isn't going over too well with things the way they are, and I have to deal with my life, and I have to get things. I have to put aside all the things I want to get done to keep up with school, friends, family, etc, etc.
 And I'm losing it all.
 And then there's my damn friend who isn't even a friend. She just uses me so she isn't so "alone". Damn it, she has friends!

    I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I'm losing myself. I have been doing so well, with keeping my anger in check. Not being a "spaz".

 But the past is coming back. I can't see the future anymore. Foggy, like the mist over a lake. I can't see the other side. Breathing the murky air of uncertainty and distrust. Where is the other side? Where? Where all the light is, all the flowers, where good reigns, and...
 I'm losing it all.
 I'm losing it.
 Everything is falling apart.
 And I have nothing to hold onto.

 But I can do this.
 I have to.
 I have to...